Aug. 30th, 2004

girl says;

Aug. 30th, 2004 01:57 pm
spokenjade: (she's naked!! <3 kagome; foreordained)
who is there for me?

My mother and I have so much in common...but the thing we're always talking about is our friends...

And how we sometimes wonder...

We're the ones that our friends turn to for advice, and for help, and for moral and emotion support. We're the ones who are expected to have the answers, and yet, they never listen to us.

But are we destined to not have someone to turn to? Someone who will listen to us, and someoen to take for granted?

I'm sick enough of always having the answers, and no one ever listening. I'm sick of people asking me what they should do, and then not listening when I tell them. And seriously, I'm sick of everything falling down in their lives, because they didn't take my advise, and then turning to me to figure out how to fix it...

But mostly, I'm sick of not being able to do that myself. Mom said, when her friends call, and she answers with her "Oh, I'm having a bad day" voice, there's no sympathy. There's disappointment. Because if she's upset, she may want to talk about herself...

My friends don't have that problem, of course, as they'll just keep on going, even if they know I'm practically drowning in my own emotions.

Some of my friends...they just can't handle it, and you know what? That's okay. There's one or two people that will listen to me go on, but I can't do that to them, because I know that my problems are hardly enough for me to handle, and I've been living with this my whole life...I've overwhelmed some people, and I hate doing that....

But there are people who could take it. People who probably could help, but at least could listen to it all and not have a nervous breakdown themselves. And these people, they're the ones I NEED, and the ones who say they need me. I'm so sick of this. I've lost so many friends because of it, because I've been in, essentially, one sided friendships. Because the people who can listen to me, won't...

Oh life, how you can suck sometimes...


spokenjade: (Default)

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