Oct. 1st, 2004

girl says;

Oct. 1st, 2004 02:52 am
spokenjade: (kagome [birthday gift];foreordained)
i think i'm going to cry.

Okay.

So, I check my mom's account online, and our money came.

$1,336.01

Which, at first, has me all excited.

But then reality sets in, and I realize that after we pay the rent, and the bills, that we're going to have less than two hundred dollars left over period. That's not even enough for groceries, much less for anything else we need (like glasses for me, as I'm legally freaking blind as of now) and I'm going to freaking cry.

There's three people, a cat, and a chinchilla, and the only way I know we're going to survive is because we always have.

I hate being poor. I hate it completely. And it's times like this I understand why my grandmother tells my mother to get my dad to pay child support. If she WANTED to, she COULD find him. But she doesn't, and right now, that pisses me off. We did the math last year, and he'd probably have to pay us about 50,000. That's about what we get in three years. At this point, ANY money would be appreciated. I realize now that my trip to Six Flags is out of the question, because what seemed like a cheap $31.00 ticket last month now is food.

So, uh...for the next few days, could we please restrain from the "I'm SO poor! ;__;!" posts, followed by your new collection of anime, manga, and CDs? Because I'm getting the feeling that's really going to piss me off this month...

I don't know why I'm so bothered by it this month. It's the same as always.

I've just been a mess lately. Horrible things are happening here, and I've been..ugh. Over emotional, tired, and I swear to God I smell everything in this house all at once. And I'm getting cravings for my mom's ice. Obviously, things are bad.

Add this to the fact that my best friend ditched me, for a guy that doesn't really even like her (my mother's friend is doing the same thing) when I tried to TELL her that he didn't like her (thanks OH SO MUCH, my loyal and loving friend :D!) which is becoming more and more upsetting as time goes on...And, as someone else mentioned, and as I really thought about for myself a few days ago...if I was a guy she'd have been talking to me again within the hour. So that's like...total betrayal...I realized I'm going to be eighteen in a year, and a few months, and my health seems to be rapidly declining....

Forgive me for being over-dramatic, but I'm going to die.

And when I do, I'll haunt the fuck out of you Lacie.

Removed all people who don't have me friended. Now my friends match my interests. :D

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spokenjade

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