Sep. 27th, 2004

girl says;

Sep. 27th, 2004 07:21 am
spokenjade: (baby! :D)
someone please stop the lj site overhaul

I think the worst insult I can give to someone is to consider them as someone that's "just online". Over the years I've spent talking on the internet (there's four of them) I've learned that there are very real people and emotions attached to this thing, and I've learned not to take it lightly.

As I'm continually finding that I'm one of few in real life, I've found people a lot like me, people who relate to me, speak to me, and I dare say, adore me, here online. I've found people that don't find me weird, and I think that no matter how I'm talking to them, that's something important.

I've learned that the actions of a single forum can cause a girl to become suicidal. I've learned that betrayals online hurt just as deeply as they do in real life, and I've learned that getting to know somebody by their words and interests and font colours is more fun than studying them from afar in the cafeteria.

These things are not just online.

To be regarded by me as nothing but something online means that I don't find you real. You're nothing but data on a computer screen. You're words, and you're letters, and pixels, and you're not more than that. You may be a voice, or a very distant memory, but you're just online, and you're not a big deal.

I don't think of people like that by default. To place someone on that level is a very conscious act for me, and it's very personal. I've only done it twice, and both times, it was a defense mechanism of sorts. Classifying someone as less than human is not something that I do lightly.

Which is pretty funny, considering that, "irl" my biggest insult is to think of you as a human being (all the cool kids are fantasy creatures). And that's my "default setting" on people. They have to change my mind.

I confuse myself.

I should probably sleep, but I need to stay up until four. Then I sleep. Yaaay. (Oh, btw, is Oliver really such a horrible name for an adopted boy? I like it. Oliver Van! It's nice.)


spokenjade: (Default)

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