Feb. 7th, 2004

girl says;

Feb. 7th, 2004 06:56 pm
spokenjade: (don't hate me!; yourouzokuicons)
worthless

I hate being useless. I hate not being able to comfort my friends.

I hate it.

I hate myself for not being good enough. But, most of all..

I hate love.

Love does this to people. Love makes me, and my friends, it makes us all hurt. It makes us insane. It makes us willingly torture ourselves for the hope of being able to have something, something that I've decided isn't worth it.

I wish that I could make everyone feel better. I wish that people would love us, but I also wish that love would die.

I wish it didn't exist.

And it hurts to talk about it and think about it, and I wish I could just walk away from it, but I can't.

Even if I can't help, I can't abandon my friends. Even if I'm not good enough, I have to stay with them. I can't help but think that it's my fault they're unhappy, because I haven't done all that I can to make it better.

I wish I could make it better for everyone, but...it doesn't look like I can.

This is so hard.

Why is it hard for me? I'm not the one who's suffering anymore...but...

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spokenjade

January 2005

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